Las Vegas Casino Guide

Your guide to the weird, the Star Trek friendly, the swanky, and the bona fide dumps

Rounders beware, you may think you are an all- time poker expert, but it pays to do some research before hitting the Strip armed with your bank roll.

There are a million ways to do Vegas. Well, of course there are, you say, it’s Vegas! But it just means that you’ll need to know where to go and what you’re doing before throwing down a big bet or a wad of cash for your bed. Don’t worry though, help is at hand. We’ve looked at the cliff- notes and figured out which hotels are good at ripping you off, which ones the Star Trek people hang out at and which ones sport the greatest amounts of fake tan, fanny packs, Elvis impersonators and hipster wannabes. Read on.

Most Tacky

The Stardust-(right) Going to close at the end of 2006? A senior citizen mecca, kitsch and garish, and it’s full of tropical print shirts.

The Las Vegas Hilton- Next to the convention centre where they hold all the Star Trek conventions, so guess who stays here?

Wild Wild West- Falls flat, there’s no wild, and certainly no west.

Best Bang for Buck- beware, they are all off Strip

Golden Nugget- The best rooms for your money! Pretty fancy considering the price, lots of marble. You can make a cocktail to your own specifications.

Suncoast- Huge rooms, big beds and French- ish furniture. Location is the only drawback, no view of the Strip.

El Cortez- Clean and comfortable, but has small bathrooms. It's a smaller hotel which means better service.

The Orleans- Big rooms, beds and bathrooms. You’ll get all the expected amenities. Bargain.

Best Hip Clubs- dress your best otherwise they’ll send you back to the slot machines (check if you need a reservation).

Rain at The Palms- Stylish and fun for a large club. Sometimes has good live shows.

Body English at Hard Rock- One of the best (some say THE best) in the city. Full of cool people and lots of others faking it. The DJ’s are awesome.

Pure at Caesars Palace- The VIP’s of the VIP’s. Shine your shoes for this one.

Pussycat Lounge within Pure at Caesars Palace- A bit of fun and a hip take on the nudie, dancing show. Way more fun than Hooters (especially for girls), but obviously more expensive.

Most Swanky

The Bellagio-(right) purely for the high rollers or those of you who can afford a weekend to pretend.

The Venetian- lots of marble and you can make phone calls from the bathroom

Wynn- boring otherwise, but swanky nonetheless. Lush towels, yeah!

The Palms- all the kids are really hip and you get good shower stuff and lotions.

Cheapest Sleep- again, all off Strip

The Western- Cheap, but you might incur some type of germ related disease. No reservations needed…

Gold Spike- Blue collar, no frills, but good value.

El Cortez (right)- Comfortable, unglamorous, full of oldies.

Golden Gate- A bit small and shabby but still charming

Most Boring

Treasure Island- We want more pirates. Shiver me timbers...

Bally’s- There’s no real theme exactly, just a broad spectrum of people and nothing much to do until you walk outside.

Harrah’s- It’s supposed to be like Mardi Gras, but no one actually likes a court jester.

Best Gambling

Caesars Palace- (right) The number of tables is endless in this closed off area, though bet minimum is pretty expensive, so don’t go in as a beginner (expensive also means the chairs are ultra comfortable, leather and swiveling). Slots range from a nickel to $500. We hear their tournaments are one of the best structured in Vegas, so keep a look out.

Stratosphere- tables aren’t the best, actually they might be a bit crap, but the slots are rumored to have highest returns than any other casino on the strip. Slots begin at a nickel.

El Cortez- Classic table games, not the newer stuff, but the craps 10x odds are good for $3 minimum bet.

Las Vegas Hilton- their Sports Book is one of the best, if you can make the trek there. Their room, they claim, is the largest in the world and it might even be true. Bets start at $5 and up, Sports wagers $5 also, races $2.

By Leah Bradicich